Newham Education Business Partnership - Mentoring

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The formula for success is simple - you want to help someone who wants your help. The voluntary aspect of mentoring is key. Here are some practical suggestions for developing a successful mentoring relationship with the young person you have agreed to mentor.

A few practical thoughts...

• Mentoring can sometimes seem quite an isolated occupation - but you are not alone. The school will have a contact for you to liaise with. The most common issue will be one of seeking reassurance that your time has been well invested. You may also meet other mentors to share experiences.
• Remember, young people will not always show their feelings or indicate that progress is being made in the meetings - however, do not be discouraged, their progress will often be evident at school and in other areas of their lives.
• Do not be surprised if they do not telephone you - it is not something that many young people would do or indeed have the confidence to do.
• If the student drops out of the programme don't feel that this is a reflection on you as a person - this is not so. In most cases where this happens there will be other reasons for their withdrawal - mentoring cannot always counter other pressures in a young person's life. Stay with the programme and work with someone else.

What makes a good mentor?

Anyone can be a mentor - don't think you need to be a parent or a manager of people to be effective - you just need enthusiasm, patience and an interest in helping young people.

Mentors need certain qualities. Try to:

• Be positive - some of the young people involved will have low self-esteem and will be lacking in confidence. You can help them overcome this.
• Be reliable - you should set the standard in the relationship by committing to regular e-mails.
• Be a good listener - young people are not always listened to by adults and to do so will encourage the young person to see that you respect their views. This is the key to establishing rapport.
• Show interest - you should make a conscious effort to remember previous e-mails so that the first part of any mail is a review of the last.
• Be approachable - you need to be relaxed, friendly and responsive to the needs or concerns expressed by the young person. Once they have the confidence they can talk to you about issues of concern and the potential 'mountains' in their school life can become 'molehills'.
• Be non-judgemental - you should not apply your own standards or experiences at school or in your youth as a template for the relationship.
• The young person will have different life experiences and will have different pressures to cope with as a young person today.
• Be realistic - there will be goals or standards to aim for within the relationship but the behaviour or current practice of a young person will not be changed overnight. Goals will be achieved once a rapport has been established. Goals should be broken down into small and achievable targets.

Above all remember, no-one is perfect! Use the list above as an aide memoire - try to adopt the suggestions outlined as much as possible.

What does a mentor do?

• Get to know the young person and let them get to know you - this is a partnership - mentors should be open about their experiences.
• Establish the general objectives that you will aim to work towards.
• Encourage your mentee to do their best at school.
• Listen to what they say, value their opinions and beliefs and treat as a priority anything that is worrying them.
• Encourage them to talk about their hopes and ambitions.
• Talk about relevant experiences and of any problems that you have overcome.
• Talk about the world of work and the expectations of employers.
• Become a friend.

The term 'friend' is consistently used in student evaluations - this friendship drives the relationship forward and provides the foundation for positive change to occur. All of the above can be built into a series of practical things the mentor and student can do together:

• Set targets - this will be at the heart of the relationship once a rapport has been established. Targets should be realistic and manageable. For example homework deadlines, agreeing other time management goals.
• Show the student around your place of work and explain about the different departments that make up your organisation. If possible, ask your colleagues to tell your mentee/s about their jobs too. If a student knows a few other friendly faces around the office they will increase in confidence and feel more comfortable when e-mailing.
• Discuss work experience or interview techniques.
• Give practical help with project work where you feel you have the appropriate skills.

A few mentoring tips...

• Take time to establish rapport - do not try to address issues or problems at the outset. Get to know each other first.
• Expect change to be gradual - mentoring is not a quick fix!
• Recognise the limitations of the relationship. For example, you can't change their home life but you can provide a positive input and help them cope better with their problems.
• Be consistent in your relationship.
• Don't over commit yourself - making promises you can't keep can be damaging.
• Treat the young person as an equal.
• Encourage them to come up with solutions and take responsibility for their actions - empowerment is an important part of the process.
• If your circumstances change and you can no longer give the time needed, you should inform the school and arrange a meeting with the student to explain your situation to them. It is important that they do not feel that they are responsible for your withdrawal.
• Do not take responsibility for problems that are outside the limits of your involvement. Recognise when it is appropriate to pass over issues to the school.
• You are not expected to be an expert - your knowledge may be limited but you can help the student by linking them in with someone who can help, for example a careers adviser - use the link person in school who may be able to refer the student on for you.
• Most importantly - be yourself!